If you ask anyone what they’re looking for in a relationship, chances are that most of them will answer, “Honesty.” Honesty is an important value to us and we look for it in others, but we often neglect working on it in ourselves. Think about it for a moment. You probably consider yourself an honest person, but wouldn’t you say there is room for growth?
We believe honesty is one of the most important virtues two people can share in a relationship. To help you and/or your partner grow in honesty, we’ve compiled four tips below to help:
1. Know yourself
You can’t be honest about yourself with someone else if you don’t know yourself. This can be funny to think about because who knows you better than you, right? Well, it turns out there is much more you can learn about yourself when you take a moment to reflect inwardly on what you want, what drives you, what you believe, what you like and don’t like, and more.
Take time to get to know yourself. Pray. Write in a journal. Do whatever helps you get more in touch with yourself so you can be more honest in sharing yourself with your partner.
2. Know your partner
As knowing yourself is important, so is knowing your partner. This is the one person you should know better than anyone else. Of course, this takes time to develop. Every day in your relationship, you should strive to learn more about your partner, their drive, their beliefs, what makes them happy, what makes them sad, etc.
Talk to them, pay attention to them and try to truly know them so you can gain a deeper sense of trust with one another and feel more comfortable with honesty.
3. Speak with your actions
It’s one thing to say you love someone or that you trust them. It’s another to actually do it. Find ways to act out your love and trust in your relationship. Spend quality time with them. Serve them. Discover their love language and lean into it when interacting with them.
It should go without saying that you should not say one thing and then do another. Try to always be honest with your words and let your actions reflect on them.
4. Be a good listener
As you strive to be honest with your partner, hopefully they strive to be honest with you too. As such, they may direct honesty toward you in conversation to highlight something they’d like you to work on as a couple or an issue they’re having with something. It’s important to practice good listening and to absorb and reflect on what they’re saying.
Don’t try to argue or discredit their feelings. This will lead to them being uncomfortable opening up with you, which can drive a wedge in your relationship. Listen to them and validate what they say. Reflect on their words before responding. This shows that you care and that you’re willing to let honesty always have its place between you two.
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